Your daily dose of Election 2008 sexism, “Sweetie” edition

Comments

[this is good]
IMHO, "sweetie" is not sexist because it may, in a few cases, recognize gender.

Can we please have a discussion of issues that matter to the most people
and the real strengths candidates bring to the table? Using "sweetie" can be a habit for many guys who are perfect gentlemen.
I completely agree - I sometimes slip and call people sweetie because it's what I call my husband. I think this was over analyzed - but whats new when it comes to politics?
Men say it to women, women say it to men, women say it to women, but men don't say it to other men because "sweetie" is a term of endearment.

You are, of course, entitled to your opinion, but I think it was incredibly sexist to call a professional woman "sweetie" and that it isn't being over analyzed in the least.
Just because people are talking about the fact that he called a woman "sweetie" doesn't mean they aren't talking about the real issues. Because, um, they are.
[this is good]
Well, maybe you're right, on further thought.
I didn't watch the clip. Now I will.
Apologies for saying "puh-leeze" to that....

[this is good]
OK, it was a slip-up, but I think a relatively harmless one, if we put it in
perspective.
Question: For the ladies if you say: "Thanks, Big Boy"! or many similiar phrases, less polite, with usually a very personal meaning. Used in a business setting, should men, in anyway take offense or what should their reactions be, if any? Note: If women take offense at the phrase "sweetie" it is an issue..like it or not.
Men should take offense to that. I actually don't say stuff like that to men, not even my boyfriend. I say "thanks, [name]". Terms of endearment give me the hebbie jebbies.
Hmm... that's interesting. I've taken serious offense to being called "sweetie" in what I perceive to be a demeaning tone, but to me--just my opinion here--it sounded like just what he said, something said out of habit. (And being from the South, I'm pretty used to hearing "sweetie" thrown around all over the place, typically in a meant-to-be-nice way.) Still, a habit he should y'know... not have.

Do you perceive this as suggestive of his being sexist, or are you more just offended by his use of the word?


Given that he may not have known her name (it didn't appear to be an interview so much as an appearance with press present), is there a term he could have used that wouldn't have been offensive? So many women take offense at being called ma'am, and "miss" in that situation has the same dismissive tone as "sweetie".

Looking at the many strong, powerful women in Obama's life, including the one who's running his campaign, I'm inclined to write this off as a misstep.

Um, Ms. anyone? I'd be much less likely to take offense to ma'am, Miss, or Ms than I would to sweetie. You don't just run around calling people sweetie if you don't know their names.

Just because he has a woman running his campaign it doesn't mean he's not sexist. That's like saying "I have one black/gay friend! I'm not racist/homophobic!"
A combination of both, really. I don't care for pet names because they tend to infantilize women - and men. But yeah, either way, a habit someone running for president shouldn't have. Kinda worries me. I mean, what if he's having lunch with the Queen of England and he says "thanks for the cuppa, sweetie"?

There are plenty of interviews and news clips where he calls a guy, "Man" or "Dude". Is he also sexist against men? Come on, I call people hun, sweetie, dude, man, and other pet names. I think people are getting all upset over nothing.

Bottom line is that no one is perfect, and everyone has a slight slip of the tongue from time to time. Doesn't mean that he's sexist at all, just that he was hurried, and used a quick term to let someone know he was aware of their presence, but needed them to hold on one second.

Just because you call people that it doesn't mean they like it, or that it's ok.

I'm not so sure it's a good idea to elect someone president who thinks it's appropriate to call people "dude" either. That's a little too frat boy for me.

You can't argue that he isn't sexist because it was a slip of the tongue. A slip of the tongue could have meant that he is, in fact, sexist and is expressing that silent sexism by slipping and calling a female reporter "sweetie."
Maybe it's a regional thing, but I have never heard anyone use the term "Ms" without a name after it, unless they were prompting someone to supply her name. Again, this may be a regional thing, but I hear people using "sweetie" in an unoffensive way fairly often. Words mean different things to different people.

I think that to declare someone sexist because he used a term you dislike, and to disregard the way he treats women day-in, day-out (by marrying and hiring strong independent women) is rather harsh.


I don't think you can use Ms. (or Mrs.) without a last name. You can't just be like, "I'll be with you in a second, Ms." and just stop there.

I use sweetie all the time with people (although generally only people I know) so I don't think it's a huge deal, although it really doesn't matter what I think. It matters if the reporter was offended (and judging from the last thing she said, I think she was annoyed more by the fact that he totally blew her off, not so much the "That jackass called me sweetie!" thing.

Seriously?

*yawn*

Then why did you even bother commenting?
I hear both Ms. and Mr. used without last names fairly frequently in the business world. It's a tad unprofessional to holler you "hey you!"
You can use Ms. without a last name, I see it allll the time, and get referred to it all the time, especially by people who think I'm too young to be called ma'am.

"Excuse me, Ms, you dropped your wallet."

"Excuse me, Mr, do you happen to know where the nearest bathroom is?"
Have you taken a step back and thought that perhaps you would take it offensively because you simply don't like pet names - as you just said? They're not for everyone - there's nothing wrong with that.
It is much easier to boil this down to a personal issue of hating pet names than admitting the golden boy was in the wrong.

It is probably explained a lot better than I ever could here.
With all do respect, if you're going to get this worked up about "sweetie" you might want to stop using the term "boy" to describe a black man.
Oh, I'm sorry if I gave you the impression he was "golden" in my eyes - I don't even like politics. I think that's why this over-analyzed topic frustrates me. I feel like people are trying to find something to fight and argue about. I'm not just talking about this incident or the election.

The English language is full of so many double meanings - even more so when exaggerated by society's unwillingness to understand. Everyone talks about being politically correct and kind - and yet we're unable to understand that everyone grew up in different places and were raised differently. It seems we've gone far beyond trying to educate and informed and skipped right into judging and condemning.
I wasn't using the term "boy", I was using the token saying "golden boy."

If "golden man" was the term, I gladly would have used it, but it's not. Had I said "golden man", I probably would had had more than a few confused looks.
I was more referring to him as America's golden boy, not yours (I try not to make assumptions about people's personal political beliefs). A lot of people in more important positions in society than myself are saying that the whiny feminists are making a big deal out of nothing and we should just shut up and get laid (only, you know, more delicately than that).

The English language is full of so many double meanings - even more so when exaggerated by society's unwillingness to understand.

Definitely agree with you on that one. I'm making a thesis out of the ability to find double meanings in things.
Given our current presidents absolute dismissal of certain womens rights, ie; wantign to stop sex ed, trying to ban the plan b bill and birth control, I am far less concerned with a man who uses an enderment. I understand as a woman trying to make her way in the world and be taken seriously how this may bother you. I have been called sweetie before by a bill collector. It was not how i wished to be addressed so I informed the woman that sweetie was not my name and to please address me properly. The enderment did not bother me until she continued to address me by it. The one thing that does bother me about it is that if he has already been called to carpet over it than he should use special care not to. Much in the way that a speaker records their speeches to count how many "um, eh.. oh *cough*"'s they use perhaps he should concentrate on how he addresses the situation, particularly when he is running against a strong woman. Now.. Had he ever turned to Hilliary in a debate and said "Sweetie.. i see your point but dont you think your exaggerating?" Then we would have an issue
Your exaggerating what?

I think I would had had a bigger problem with the fact that a bill collector was calling me, rather than the fact that they called me sweetie.

I guess in simpler terms (sorry i can be convaluted at times) is that I would be more irritated by sweeite being used in a patronizing fashion. eh well the call helped me square things away. Making the choice of livign in an expensive state and the resulting financial difficulties of being laid off contributed to the call. It was warrented. But thats my own personal issues.

I don't know. I'm lame.

This is actually a substantial feminist commentary, and could be used to support a really sharply observed essay of feminist criticism and deconstruction on the 2008 election. I haven't been following your blog, but can presume by the title of this one that you have been following the pre-election hooplah rather diligently, and likely have others written on the topic. Although I rarely choose this criticism when writing (I suppose my criticism of choice is rhetorical, but, hell, I mostly stick to literary criticism,) I would say that when all is said and done, it might be worthwhile to compile all support into an essay. You could probably staccato in some Marxist criticism as well. I'd certainly take a glance or two at it.

But like I said, I'm lame.

Literary criticism? Really? I'm thinking about shifting my focus for my MA towards something... literary.

I don't follow as diligently as I would like to. Damn work, getting in the way of my blogging.
Question: Ladies, if you say "you go girl" is it the same if a male uses the same term??
I don't say "you go girl", but I imagine as long as the message was empowerment rather than one of mocking or humor, I'd be fine with a male saying "you go girl" to me.

That is the same with sayings and phrases though: they can be use negatively or positively, depending on the tone or the sentiment behind them.
if you can say "you go girl" what in the world is the problem with "sweetie" - i happen to call everyone honey - regardless of gender. if clinton (the hillary, not the bill) had said this to a news reporter, it wouldn't get a second glance).

things are getting too politically correct now-a-days.

pretty soon we won't be able to address one another without offending someone.

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