13 posts tagged “sexuality”
Check out the LA Times article here.
In a 4-3 ruling, the justices rule that state marriage laws are unconstitutional.
SAN FRANCISCO — – The California Supreme Court ruled today that same-sex couples should be permitted to marry, rejecting state marriage laws as discriminatory.
The state high court’s 4-3 ruling was unlikely to end the debate over gay matrimony in California. A group has circulated petitions for a November ballot initiative that would amend the state Constitution to block same-sex marriage, while the Legislature has twice passed bills to authorize gay marriage. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed both.
Finally, some decisive action on this!
Here's a quote from our shitty, shitty Governor, Mr. Schwarzenegger, that makes me feel a little more secure in today's ruling:
"I respect the Court's decision and as Governor, I will uphold its ruling. Also, as I have said in the past, I will not support an amendment to the constitution that would overturn this state Supreme Court ruling."
I was more than a little shocked to see this article on the front page of CNN:
As the weather warms each spring, women — especially in cities with active sidewalk traffic — once again face catcalls from men. It’s a situation some find unnerving and an invasion of their space, while others ignore it or are even flattered by it.
“I call it street abuse,” said New York filmmaker Maggie Hadleigh-West, 49. “It’s unwanted attention and invasion of space.”
In her 1998 documentary “War Zone,” Hadleigh-West confronted catcallers and filmed their responses. Many of the men literally ran away to avoid talking to her about why they whistled or made a provocative comment. […]
“Being in a public space with a strange man who is being sexually aggressive is potentially dangerous,” Hadleigh-West added.
On the other hand, some women appreciate the attention in certain cases, like Jessica, a 31-year-old health-care educator in Los Angeles who declined to use her last name to protect her privacy.
“Yeah, it’s objectifying and all, but you know, if I walked down the street and didn’t have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I’d think, ‘Boy, I must really be getting old and dumpy,’ ” she said.
This is absolutely disgusting. Is that how you feel better about yourself? BY being verbally assaulted by men? I think it’s a little sad that the state of the world makes women feel flattered when they are being yelled at by strange men simply for existing. Where is your self esteem? Do you really need that much attention to feel good about yourself? I know I’m being a little more than harsh here, but I absolutely hate women like this. Especially when cat calling isn’t as innocent as a man being a jerk and asserting himself on a woman:
“There seems to be some evidence that it increases self-objectification,” said Fairchild, who surveyed 550 women both online and at Rutgers University in 2006 and 2007. The women — who ranged in age from 15 to 64 in the international online component and from 18 to 24 in the Rutgers survey of women from central New Jersey — were asked about their experiences with street harassment.
Catcalling “encourages women to look at themselves as body parts instead of as full, whole, intelligent human beings” and can cause women to fear for their safety, Fairchild says.
“When a man catcalls you, you don’t know if it will end at that point or if it could escalate to assault,” she added.
I’m glad that there is research being done on this - but I’m sad that it’s getting attention only after the article’s author finds some random woman who just lives for the attention cat calling provides her with.
You know, I was totally fine with this article, even the bits including the attention-seeking woman, until I reached the end:
“A lot of men have no idea that women don’t like being talked to in this way,” she said. “It never crosses their mind, and yelling doesn’t educate them. If you yell, they often don’t understand why you are upset and so they take it personally.”
Often, Kearl says, an assertive, clear response can illicit a kinder reaction than one expects.
“A lot of the time, I find guys will just say, ‘Oh, OK, I didn’t realize it made you feel that way. Thanks.’ “
Ok, now, really, as a woman who experiences cat calling because she has to dress up for work, I can honestly say that no matter how you respond to a man making sexual comments about you, they will still take it personally and be even bigger of an asshole about it. I have asked cat callers more than once if they think whistling and making sexual remarks at women is really the way to get their attention, and I’ve either been called a bitch, stupid, or a lesbian because of my return comment.
What is a man’s expectation when he says these things to a woman he doesn’t even know? Does he expect her to fawn over him in appreciation? Does he expect his comments to be appreciated, or does he know they are offensive?
I’m doing my part as a woman to make it clear that we don’t appreciate these comments, but I’m only one woman living in one small city - I can only do so much.
The past few months, the media has been overrun with stories relating to rapes that have been covered up by the military and KBR (and KBR, again), immigration officials, and many more. The coverage of rape myths has continued to remain popular, despite the thousands of women who have experienced otherwise. Stories have been released that tell us just how frighteningly common rape and sexual assault are in the military, even though we all know that the majority of sexual assaults go unreported, even though it is extremely frequent.
And you know what? I’m sick of it. Sick of the fear, the stigma, and the trauma all associated with rape. Sick of the guilt, sick of the terrible media coverage, sick of people blaming the victim. And you know why this happens? Do you? Because if you don’t, I do.
When companies like KBR discover that their employees are being victimized and violently attacked, they have the opportunity to do one of two things:
- Take a stand for their employees and fight like hell for their rights. Assist them in the investigation and prosecution of the offender(s), and provide them with paid medical leave and access to trained rape crisis professionals, free of charge. Accept that you are responsible for what happened to them and reach an agreement with them privately.
- Cower like idiots, take absolutely no responsibility for the crimes, discourage them from reporting it, force them to sign agreements taking away their constitutional right to a jury trial, and make them feel so much shame and guilt that they can no longer function physically or emotionally.
KBR, of course, being a huge, rich, and wealthy company, opted for route #2. Despite the fact that they have the money to help these women prosecute the offenders and the resources to provide them with help when they return home, they neglected to take care of their employees. They decided to force these women into arbitration so they don’t have pay exorbitant punitive damages to the victims if these charges were sent to a jury. Because, really, let’s be honest: if these cases went to trial, the circumstances are not in their favor. While the offenders may not be convicted, the women would most likely win in civil court.
But KBR knows just how many zeros can follow the number 1, and they didn’t want to take any risks. Instead of taking the high road and setting examples for corporations across America, they took the low road and continued to victimize their employees by not allowing them access to justice. It’s sick, and it’s wrong, not to mention cruel and inhumane.
But back to the point. All of this happens, the lack of reporting, the believing in rape myths, and the blaming of the victim because of the very public actions taken by KBR. If you are a 16 year old girl and you happen to stumble upon the story of one of these KBR rapes, what will you think? Will you think it’s safe to bring rape charges up on someone? Will you think the law is on your side? Will you think people will believe you? No, you won’t. And you won’t report your rape, and you won’t seek help. You will live your life in fear and shame, and you probably won’t even tell your friends what happened to you.
Rape is the dirty crime - it’s a crime associated with shame and dishonor. If you walk outside and discover your car is stolen, you report it. If you wake up and your house is on fire, you report it. If you are walking home from a night class and you are raped, you report it.
If you have been a victim of sexual assault, rape, or domestic violence, I urge you to REPORT IT NOW! April 29, 2008 is Angela Shelton Day: a day where victims come together, break the silence, and transform themselves into survivors.
It occurred to me that I have been neglecting my poor little vox lately. So instead of swamping my neighborhood with all of my posts from the past few months, I have them all collectively linked here for your clicking pleasure. They are listed in reverse order, from oldest to newest.
I vote we just abolish the silly feminism thing right here and now
Published by Liz on February 20, 2008 12:26 am
under equality, feminist thought, ridiculous
Ultimately, I am a feminist because I believe in two things: equality
and choice. Equality for all people, regardless of what labels are
applied to them by themselves and society, and choice for all people,
so they are able to live their lives as close to their dream as
possible. I don’t expect everyone to be
feminists, but I do believe that feminism can benefit the world as a
whole.
Censorship at the Grammy Awards: Somehow I'm not surprised
Published by Liz on February 20, 2008 04:51 pm
under feminist thought, pop culture, sexuality, tv
By now I’m sure everyone knows about Amy Winehouse being asked by the Grammy Awards producers to cover up her tattoo’s nipples for her performance, but can we just pause a moment and reflect on how this is being reported to media outlets?
Reason #389 why I love Bill Clinton
Published by Liz on February 21, 2008 09:08 pm
under abortion, anti-choice, anti-contraception, clintons, reproductive health, tidbits
When verbally assaulted at a rally by anti-choicers, Bill responded,
and I have to say, I am impressed by his response… and not just because
he’s Bill, but because it’s an awesome response. Yes, he got angry, and
yes, he may have yelled more than a little… but he did get his point
across and (I hope) filled the anti-choicers present at this rally with
a more than a little embarrassment.
The usual bull shit: sexism in the media and Hillary Clinton
Published by Liz on February 28, 2008 04:53 pm
under 2008 election, clintons, dollymix.tv, feminist thought, gender, media, politics, pop culture, ridiculous
Sexism in media is kind of a big topic. A lot of people research it for
a living, and quite a few people have gone to painstaking efforts to
observe the sexism that is occurring in the Democratic presidential
election and all the publicity that surrounds it.
Rejoice! Pregnancy can give you a pass for the carpool lane!
Published by Liz on February 28, 2008 11:12 pm
under abortion, anti-choice, children, christian right, feminist thought, ignorance, politics, reproductive health, ridiculous
Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, aka Reagan 2.0, has just recently endorsed an amendment to the Colorado constitution that would consider a fetus a person.
Aside from the whole ridiculousness surrounding when a fetus becomes a person, this is a dangerous line to cross.
Where in the world is Prince Harry fighting?
Published by Liz on February 29, 2008 04:59 pm
under media, opinion, politics
Yesterday I was browsing through CNN’s front page when I saw the
headline “Prince Harry sent to Afghanistan”. Now, how is that safe? How
is that ok?
Happy Sadie Hawkins Day! PROPOSE WHILE YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT!
Published by Liz on February 29, 2008 05:31 pm
under dollymix.tv, feminist thought, gender, marriage, ridiculous
Not only is today Leap Year (and another lame excuse for things to be
one sale in stores), but today is also Sadie Hawkins Day. Which means,
for you ladies who are so inclined, today is the one day every four years where a woman can propose to a man and get away with it.
Female artist of the moment: Missy Higgins
Published by Liz on March 4, 2008 07:54 pm
under music, pop culture, the usual
I thought I would take a moment to step off my soap box and blog about Missy Higgins,
an awesome musician from Australia who has a lot to say about life,
love, and all the other miscellany things going on in her world.
Stick to what you're good at: housemaking, swooning, etc
Published by Liz on March 4, 2008 11:18 pm
under feminist thought, gender, ignorance, media, pop culture, rant, ridiculous
I think every single feminist blog I read has picked up on Charlotte Allen’s sexist “women are idiots” piece already, but it’s my turn now.
Single sex education versus gender based education
Published by Liz on March 5, 2008 06:19 pm
under children, feminist thought, gender, opinion
The doctor has become an advocate of single-sex education (not same-sex
education, because that would be GAY) because during his years as a
family practitioner (not a child therapist, not a
psychologist, not anything remotely related to early childhood
educational and mental development) he realized that boys and girls
“learn differently”. Now, in psychology, gender is one of those big
categories that they use to look for differences because it is
(usually) easy to identify. However, many studies have come to the same
conclusion: the differences within each gender are greater than those between genders.
LOL of the day: a resume full of "hopes and plans"
Published by Liz on March 5, 2008 07:53 pm
under 2008 election, lol of the day, media, politics, tidbits
All these years I’ve been creating accomplishments and
gathering experience to list on my resume. From now on, I’ll just list
my hopes and plans. All that work was so unnecessary.
Who cares about your career? Have a baby now!
Published by Liz on March 5, 2008 11:59 pm
under american traditions, children, feminist thought, life stuff, rant, reproductive health, ridiculous
“Want to have a baby? Now’s the time women eager to have children need to direct career drive toward mating.”
For an extremely short article, it is riddled with tons of sexist “facts” from various fields of research.
The top 10 things men lie about
Published by Liz on March 6, 2008 06:44 pm
under gender, ignorance, media, opinion, pop culture, ridiculous
If the NY Post can be completely sexist when it comes to lying,
then so can I. The piece was published over the weekend and it uses a
book written by a woman (whose credentials - or lack thereof - are
completely ignored) to claim that women are lies. Well, it’s my turn now. So I present you with the Top 10 Things Men Lie About.
Tid bits: Buffy the Vampire Slayer comics used "sexual experimentation"
Published by Liz on March 6, 2008 11:11 pm
under lgbtqi, media, pop culture, sexuality, tidbits, tv
I caught an article on the New York Times about Issue #12 and
Buffy’s lesbian “experimentation”. This isn’t the first time Joss
Whedon has included lesbianism in his series. For those not familiar with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer television
series, Willow - a witch and Buffy’s best friend - develops a lesbian
relationship with a fellow witch, Tara, during college. After Tara’s
death, Willow begins dating a potential slayer.
Life Lesson #7: If you wear a skirt in public, it is 100% legal for people to take pictures of your naughty bits
Published by Liz on March 17, 2008 05:52 pm
under body image, gender, life lessons, politics, ridiculous, tidbits
A man in Oklahoma was found not guilty under a “Peeping Tom” statute for putting his camera up a 16 year old girl’s skirt (without her consent, obviously) and taking photos. Don’t go commando in Oklahoma!
Tid bits: Dolores Huerta's speech canceled at Catholic school due to her public pro-choice stance
Published by Liz on March 17, 2008 06:18 pm
under abortion, anti-choice, children, feminist thought, ignorance, opinion, reproductive health, ridiculous, tidbits
Ridiculous! I am not that shocked that a Catholic school would cancel
Dolores Huerta’s speaking engagement, but at the same time, I thought
they would have enough intelligence to understand that the talk was
about “her founding role in the United Farm Workers and the importance
of public service” and not abortion.
"Horton Hears A Who!" Not "Horton Hears An Anti-Choice Protest!"
Published by Liz on March 18, 2008 03:43 pm
under abortion, anti-choice, children, christian right, feminist thought, gender, ignorance, media, movies, opinion, pop culture, religion, reproductive health, ridiculous
STOP RUINING MY CHILDHOOD, ANTI-CHOICERS! And more importantly, stop ruining the childhoods of the millions of children going to see this movie. I understand that they are trying to make their point in as public a venue as possible, but it is a children’s movie: the primary audience is children (and families)… not exactly the kind of people that need to be converted to their cause.
Celebrity blow up dolls: there are no words
Published by Liz on March 18, 2008 08:05 pm under body image, gender, pop culture, rant, ridiculous, sexuality
Apparently, a company called Pipedream Products (google at your own risk) produces celebrity blow up sex dolls as part of their “Super Star Series”. They have dolls of: Eva Longoria: she’s your whore next door!
LOL of the day: the 105-pound mystery
Published by Liz on March 19, 2008 03:18 pm
under lol of the day, tidbits
While I’d rather not discuss the whole Elliot Spitzer thing, I found this absolutely hilarious: Most of the focus was on “Kristen”, the prostitute he
met at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington DC and booked for $1,000 an
hour. She was described as, “American, petite, very pretty, brunette, 5
feet 5 inches, and 105 pounds”.
Oh, Catholicism, how you humor me
Published by Liz on March 19, 2008 04:11 pm
under american traditions, anti-choice, anti-contraception, christian right, religion, reproductive health
I guess today is the day for humor! As I’m sure everyone knows, the Vatican has just recently released new sins.
Yes, much like a summer blockbuster or a new fashion line, the Vatican
decided to get hip with the times and tell everyone that there are more things they need to not do in order to get into heaven.
Back Up Your Birth Control: EC Day of Action, March 25, 2008
Published by Liz on March 20, 2008 03:46 pm
under abortion, birth control, feminist thought, reproductive health, sexuality
As a woman who falls into the 18-24 and sexually active statistic, it
should come as no surprise that I have used emergency contraception at
least once in my life. I am lucky enough to live in a liberal town
where access to Plan B (and other emergency contraceptives) is readily
available without scrutiny.
How exactly is the blue dress relevant to this presidential election?
Published by Liz on March 20, 2008 08:02 pm
under 2008 election, clintons, feminist thought, media, opinion, politics, rant, ridiculous
I have to say that I am completely shocked that ABC would even consider this as news. This story was published to embarrass Senator Clinton, plain and simple. This is not news!
In now way, shape, or form is this news! I also like how they call her
“Hillary” in the header: almost as if it doesn’t matter that she’s a
Senator or a Democratic presidential candidate.
Senate hearing on rape as a weapon of war
Published by Liz on April 3, 2008 08:44 pm
under feminist thought, politics, rape, reproductive health
We’ve all heard the gruesome stories of female military personnel going
off to war and being raped, kidnapped, mutilated, and tortured, whether
by the enemy or by their fellow soldiers. The United States Senate has
finally caught up with the use of rape as a weapon of war and the
Senate Subcommittee on Human Rights and Law held a hearing in regards
to this monstrous tactic.
The beginning of the end of abstinence-only education programs
Published by Liz on April 3, 2008 09:00 pm
under anti-choice, anti-contraception, birth control, christian right, feminist thought, gw bush, ignorance, politics, religion, reproductive health, sexuality
Our lovely lawmakers have finally gotten up the nerve to tackle Bush’s
abstinence-only sex education funding. It’s no surprise that it took a
Democrat controlled House and Senate to allow this challenge to happen,
but the question is, why didn’t it happen sooner? Despite years of
outcry and criticism, it took our lawmakers seven years into Bush’s term as President to put any concentrated energy towards the removal of abstinence-only sex education in schools.
Tid bits: admitted rapist and murderer convicted to 5 years
Published by Liz on April 7, 2008 03:50 pm
under politics, rant, rape, tidbits
A man who admitted giving a woman a fatal dose of “date rape” drug
during his alleged drive to have sex with 100 women was sentenced
Friday to five years in prison during a hearing that exposed the stark
emotions of his victim’s family.
Virginia 1st state to mandate internet safety lessons
Published by Liz on April 8, 2008 03:43 pm
under internet, pop culture, social networking
All I have to say is GOOD, and maybe FINALLY. With so many kids using sites like MySpace, I’m sure that percentage of internet users 10-17 who have received unwanted sexual solicitations has gone up. Is it just me, or does this make you feel old? Do you remember back in the day when you would go into the Yahoo! Chat rooms and someone would send you a message asking what you’re wearing or if you were in the mood to get frisky? I know chat rooms aren’t the thing anymore - and good thing, too, because they were kind of creepy - but places like MySpace are just as bad, if not worse. Innocent unaware teens are posting pictures of themselves with their friends at the beach, school, or wherever else, and someone is using those pictures and the information in their profiles to stalk them.
Life lesson #8: being raped is the same as being force-fed chocolate
Published by Liz on April 10, 2008 08:02 pm under dollymix.tv, feminist thought, gender, life lessons, politics, rape, reproductive health, ridiculous
I read this on DollyMix last week, and I thought I posted it already, but apparently not. The incident which state-side feminist blogs have only now just gotten wind of actually occurred early last week, but we’ll let them pretend they were the first to blog it even though they’re presenting the facts inaccurately.
A much needed reality check for the anti-Hillary camp
Published by Liz on April 23, 2008 04:26 pm
under 2008 election, clintons, media, opinion, politics
With Hillary winning last night’s primary in Pennsylvania, I think the
naysayers who told Hillary to leave the race should be feeling a little
more than stupid right now. While I’m sure their decision to ask her to
remove herself from the race was based on their opinion that Barack is
a better candidate, I feel it’s unfair (and immature) to ask someone to
remove themself from a Democratic process just because you don’t like
them. Maybe there is even a little fear in them asking Hillary to
remove herself - maybe, just maybe they’re afraid she might win and
that their golden boy will have lost.
Just another day int he media: using scandal to degrade victims
Published by Liz on April 23, 2008 04:42 pm
under feminist thought, media, pop culture, rant, rape, reproductive health, ridiculous
This headline is absolutely grotesque and inexcusable: Victim ‘had sex with captor willingly’. While the contents of the article are a little more divulging with the details than the headline, it’s obvious that the headline was created purely to attract attention and raise a shock factor. Which, congratulations, it has. However, I don’t think it’s the kind of attention any paper wants: degrading a victim’s suffering and her exploiting her experiences while being held captive to get more attention. That’s not ok.
How the Democratic party "front runner" managed to lose all the major states, I'll never know
Published by Liz on April 29, 2008 02:57 pm under 2008 election, clintons, opinion, politics
Me, personally, I don’t understand why everyone is so eager to declare Obama as the Democratic party “front runner.” I don’t want the Democratic presidential candidate for 2008 to be weak in California, Texas, New York, Florida, Pennsylvania… need I go on? That just spells yet another recipe for disaster for the Democratic party, and success for McCain.
I'll take a side of forced vaginal penetration with my abortion, thanks!
Published by Liz on May 1, 2008 08:07 pm
under abortion, anti-choice, christian right, feminist thought, ignorance, opinion, politics, rant, rape, reproductive health
The feminist blogosphere has been up in arms lately (rightfully so)
about an Oklahoma bill that requires a woman to get an ultrasound, and
look at the images, one hour before she gets an abortion. The bill
says that the woman will be required to get either an vaginal or
abdominal ultrasound, whichever shows the best picture. Aside from this
being a completely pointless and unwarranted medical procedure, most women in early pregnancy will have to get a vaginal ultrasound, since that provides the best picture.
Now I know why I never went ivy. A group of Zeta Psi pledges gathered up outside the Yale Women’s Center with a derogatory sign were completely blocking entrance to the center. Do you think you would be able to break through a group of 12 fraternity boys to get into the Women’s Center for your rape counseling? I’m doubtful I would take on that challenge, even if I needed to go to the bathroom and the YWC was the only bathroom within 10 miles walking distance.
Following a frat stunt picturing twelve alleged Zeta Psis with a sign reading WE LOVE YALE SLUTS by the Yale Women’s Center, the Women’s Center is threatening to sue. From the Women’s Center directly:
The gentlemen of Zeta Psi have apologized to “YALE SLUTS” — but only for what they thought they’d been caught for. They didn’t apologize for chanting “dick” outside the Women’s Center before their photo-op, and intimidating a female student from entering the Center (which, by the way, services rape victims — roughly 25 percent of women). They didn’t apologize for using the word “slut,” and being proud of it. They didn’t apologize for committing premeditated hate speech, for documenting that hate speech with pride, or for exalting it on Facebook.
And they didn’t apologize at all until we threatened legal action. The bigotry of Zeta Psi is unexceptional. It is pervasive, at Yale and around the world. This sort of behavior has to change, everywhere, here, and right now.
Of course, their apology was ridiculously lame. No word from the national front, which is no surprised if you ask me.
Although, I guess, if you were single and desperate for a boyfriend, you could always knock on the door of the Zeta Psi house and say “hey! I’m a slut! I go to the Yale Women’s Center! Date me!”
Right…
Time magazine recently wrote about a research study that linked abortions to future occurrences of premature births and low birth weight babies, by 2 and 3, respectively. I understand that Time was trying to explain to the general population that
the study is hardly perfect; the data is more than 40 years old and doesn’t distinguish between medical abortions and ’spontaneous abortions,’ better known as miscarriages.
Even with this statement in the first paragraph of their article, the shocking headline doesn’t quite convey the same message.
They claim that the large sample size helps to increase significance, but when they sample used for the study is over 50 years old and doesn’t distinguish between medical abortions and miscarriages, I would think that sample size doesn’t matter when something this big was ignored by the researchers. While the journal it was published in is not that credible, but the general American public doesn’t know these things.
Do your part to help spread the word about bogus studies that impact a woman’s right to choose!
Find out more at Choice USA.
This is so infuriating! If a woman says “no”, she says “no”! It doesn’t matter who she is saying “no” to. Apparently, in the UK, a top Tory senior adviser says that “suggested rape accusations made by women against their partners should be treated as “disagreements” between lovers.”
Well of course it’s a disagreement. One person says wants to have sex, the other doesn’t, and the one who wants to doesn’t give a shit what their partner wants and rapes them. That is, very obviously, a disagreement. His justification is ridiculous:
A judge in Canada called a rape victim “stupid” and “naive” because she got into a car with a man who offered to take her to a bus station, but instead drove her to a cemetery and brutally raped her. While the judge did sentence the rapist with 3 1/2 years in prison, he took the opportunity during sentencing to blame the victim for her foolishness.
Apparently, we have returned to the classic stereotype that if a heterosexual man as an affair, it is his female partner’s fault. I am just as aghast at the comments to this article as I am with the actual text. Summary: Emily is a busy lawyer with a husband and two year old son. She hasn’t had sex with her husband for months. He had an affair. It’s her fault because she didn’t want to have sex. Feminism is to blame!